In a Tutti relationship, there is no moderation. Carrie stalks Big to church with his mother; she demands he say she is "the one" while sobbing with a pillow over her face; he leaves her at the altar for a Vogue photoshoot. It is excessive. It is theatrical. It is, to borrow a phrase, tutti frutti —a chaotic mix of disparate elements that somehow create a recognizable tune. The Tutti romantic storyline of Carrie and Big teaches us that love isn't just about the person; it's about the season . When they first meet, Carrie is a journalist eating ramen, and Big is a financier eating scotch. By the final movie, they are eating takeout in their penthouse wearing reading glasses. Their relationship works not because he changed (he barely did) or because she settled (she didn't), but because the Tutti platter of their lives finally aligned. They consumed the whole menu of bad dates, near-misses, and heartbreaks to arrive at a simple, quiet love. Charlotte York: The Pursuit of the Tutti-Frutti Fairy Tale If Carrie represents the chaotic abundance of Tutti , Charlotte represents the curated fruit basket. She wants the perfect selection: WASP-y heritage, a Park Avenue apartment, a golden retriever, and a husband who plays squash. Her romantic storylines are a brutal deconstruction of the "perfect" fairy tale. The Bitter Rind: Trey MacDougal Charlotte’s marriage to Trey is a Tutti nightmare wrapped in a Lilly Pulitzer dress. On paper, it has everything: wealth, looks, status. But inside, the fruit is rotten. The infamous "cardboard baby" photoshoot and the erectile dysfunction storyline are masterclasses in how having every ingredient does not make a good meal. Charlotte wanted Tutti —the whole package—but she forgot to check if the package wanted her back emotionally. The Sweet Center: Harry Goldenblatt The genius of Charlotte’s arc is her transition from aesthetic Tutti to spiritual Tutti . Harry is bald, hairy, eats with his mouth open, and cries during tennis. He is not the fruit basket; he is the messy, delicious, unexpected gelato on a hot sidewalk. By accepting Harry—by converting to Judaism, by enduring infertility, by eventually adopting a daughter from China—Charlotte learns that Tutti (everything) doesn't mean perfection. It means wholeness . Her storyline argues that real romance is not about checking boxes; it is about dropping the checklist and holding the person. Miranda Hobbes: The Skeptic’s Tutti Surprise Miranda is the cynic. She scoffs at Tutti —the grand gestures, the flowers, the "soulmate" nonsense. She wants a clean apartment, a functioning partner, and sex without nonsense. Naturally, she ends up with the most complex, Tutti relationship of them all. The Bar Exam: Steve Brady The relationship between Miranda and Steve is the most realistic Tutti storyline on the show. It is not about glamour; it is about grit. They come from different classes (she is a Harvard lawyer; he is a bartender from Queens). They break up because he is "not intellectual enough." They have a drunken hookup that results in a child. They navigate infidelity (Steve's one-night stand), cancer, and a move to Brooklyn.
This is the ultimate Tutti relationship. Samantha refuses to sacrifice her autonomy, her career, or her sexual agency for the sake of a "couple." She allows Smith to be part of her everything , but he is not the only thing. Her storyline argues that the healthiest romantic storyline might be the one where you walk away from a perfect man because the relationship with yourself is more important. What makes Sex and the City endure is not any single romance, but the way the four women serve as each other's primary relationship. The "And The City" part of the keyword is crucial. The city (New York) is the fifth character, and the friendship is the sixth. In a Tutti relationship, there is no moderation
In the lexicon of modern romance, few shows have mapped the terrain as meticulously as Sex and the City . For six seasons and two movies, viewers followed four women navigating the brutal, beautiful jungle of New York dating. But what if we reframed those journeys through a different lens—the lens of Tutti ? It is theatrical
So, whether you are a Carrie, a Charlotte, a Miranda, or a Samantha—or a chaotic mix of all four—remember the lesson of Tutti . Don't look for the perfect ingredient. Look for the full plate. The burnt edges, the unexpected spice, the cold leftovers, and the sweet surprise at the bottom. That is where the real romance lives. And that, darling, is the city. In loving memory of the cosmos, the cosmos, and the four women who taught us that labels are for clothes, not for love. When they first meet, Carrie is a journalist